Sometimes we have questions that require a professional opinion or advice. Currently we have a professional available to answer sexual health questions. We have also posted answers to some of the more frequently asked sexual health questions.

We will be adding other professionals to this service. If you have a non-sexual health question please email us at info@teentouch.org and one of our helpliners will respond within a few days.

Dr. Anne is a nursing professor. She is ready and willing to answer your questions about health and safety issues including sex. Click here to ask Dr. Anne your questions now.

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THE PERILS OF DRY HUMPING

I get a large number of emails every week that go something like this: “My girl friend and I were fooling around. We did not have sex but we were only wearing underwear and I was rubbing my penis near her vagina and I came and we are scared that she could be pregnant”. Or perhaps the email asks: “My boyfriend and I have not really had sex; he put just the tip of his penis in and moved it around a bit. Could I get pregnant?”

This is a somewhat complex topic. On the one hand, the activity described in the first example (dry humping, frottage or outercourse) is a good alternative to sexual intercourse. It allows for both parties to enjoy close contact and stimulation of the penis and clitoris, often leading to orgasm. The problem is that one thing often leads to another and before you know it, the underwear is off, the penis is in the vagina (see example 2 above) and you are having unprotected intercourse that can lead to pregnancy. There is also always the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection. There are some infections (HPV and herpes mostly) where transmission can occur from skin to skin contact near the vagina and penis.

The emails often ask me to guess if sperm can get through two or more layers of clothing, if there is sperm in pre-cum, or if sperm can go from hand to vagina etc. I cannot make specific calculations of risk. It is unusual for sperm to pass through clothing and into the vagina and up the reproductive tract but it CAN happen. Sometimes people cannot remember exactly what was happening because it felt so good or they had been drinking and so they ask me for answers to situations which are unclear. There are some general principles here however.

If you are going to be rubbing body parts together, please remember that things can get pretty heated pretty quickly and in the moment, it seems worth it to just take a chance, just this once! And then you are left wondering if pregnancy is possible and this causes a whole lot of anxiety and regret for everyone. Sperm can be present in pre-cum however small the amount and it only takes ONE sperm to make a girl pregnant.

What is the solution? I am not going to suggest that you don't fool around – this is a natural part of being young and energetic and healthy and curious. What I am suggesting is that you always, always, always have some condoms on hand so that if things get heated and you cannot resist the temptation to stick it in, you are prepared to protect both of you from pregnancy or an infection. If there is a chance that you are going to have sex, be prepared. The girl should go on the pill AND you should have condoms on hand to protect against infection and as a safety net.

There may be some adults who read this and get angry that I am not advocating for abstinence. I am a realist and I know that from the hundreds of emails I have received that mistakes happen frequently and the best intentions are forgotten or ignored every now and then. Most of us have good intentions: you may not be planning to have intercourse and may have wanted to wait for marriage or whatever, but things do get heated. That is the reality.

Dr. Anne

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Below are a sample of some of the questions that your peers have been asking our experts, please read them through, someone might have asked something you been wondering about.

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Sex: male
Age: 17

Question:
Hello,
so me and my girlfriend had sex on saturday morning, and our condom
bro ke but we continued to have sex. She is not on birthcontrol,
however i did not ejacuate in her. I just want to know if i am still
safe or what i should do to make sure shes not pregnant

Dear teen~

She needs to take the emergency contraceptive pill as soon as possible. That means TODAY!!! Contact Klinic at 784 4090 for an urgent appointment. While you may not have ejaculated while inside her, there is often pre-cum that contains sperm.

Dr Anne

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Sex: female
Age: 16

Question:

I have had sex for the first time last night and afterwards it hurt really bad and its burns when I go to the bathroom. Could I have torn something because of the size of his penis and that's why it burns? Or is it something else?

Dear teen

It is quite possible that the delicate tissue around the entrance to the vagina had some friction burns which caused the burning when you went to the bathroom. Often the first time a woman has sex, she is quite anxious and does not have enough natural lubrication and so these friction burns happen. You may want to try using additional lube next time (try Astroglide, obtainable at any drugstore). You may also need to take extra time fooling around so that your body is really turned on and ready for sex.

Some young women find that they get a bladder infection when they start having sex. It is usually caused by germs that live around that area getting pushed into the urethra (the tube that the pee comes out of) by the thrusting of the penis. A bladder infection causes the need to pee often, it may hurt when you pee, and you may have an achey feeling low on your tummy. If you do have an infection, you will need to get it treated with antibiotics. Prevention is also important. You need to pee both before and immediately after having sex and you also need to make sure that you drink enough water (8 glasses) every day.

If this pain you describe is still there, please go and see your health care provider.

Dr Anne

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Hello Dr. Anne:

My girlfriend and I have messed around, but not gone farther than dry
humping. The thing is, she had no clothes on, but I had boxers and
cargo shorts on. I did not ejaculate, but I noticed pre-cum was
present because I could feel it. I just want to know what the chances
are of her being pregnant. She is a few days late on her period and it
really worried about it, which is stressing me out.

I also want to say that I have done some research, and some
professionals are saying that pre-cum does contain sperm, but it is hard
for the sperm to swim through clothing. Also I heard that pre-cum comes
out to get the urethra ready for a load of sperm. It is supposed to
clean out the canal. Such as if a guy urinated, the pre cum would get
rid of the acid left from the piss, and thus would not have any sperm
in it because the acids would be poor condition for sperm to live in,
let alone travel through.

These are myths I've heard, but I just want you to help us with our
situation.

Dear worried teen:

If you indeed had two layers of clothing on, there is virtually a zero chance that she could be pregnant.

Pre-cum does contain sperm and it only takes one sperm to get a woman pregnant, but the chances of sperm getting through two layers of clothing are really remote.
Good for you for doing some research on this!

Dr Anne

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Dear Dr. Anne:

I have always had trouble using condoms because my penis cannot stay erect. I also am not circumcised and believe that my problem is do to too much foreskin. I am confident about my size. However, when my penis is erect my foreskin is still capable of covering the head. Therefore, when I use condoms my foreskin covers my head underneath the condom and i get no sensation or pleasure. This problem does not occur without condoms because my foreskin is free to move back and forth. I am considering not to get circumcised but instead to simply take a bit of foreskin off.

I wanted to know your point of view on all of this.

Dear Teen:

You should see a physician for a professional opinion on this. I am not sure if you can just take a little bit of the foreskin off.

But perhaps you should try to pull the foreskin back as far as you can as you roll the condom on. Also a tighter fitting condom may help with this.

Dr. Anne

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Dear Dr. Anne:

Is it safe to pluck the hairs off your penis shaft? What are the negatives of doing this?

Curious

Dear Curious:

Interesting question. Why do you want to do this? The odd hair on the shaft is not abnormal. You can clip them or pluck them, but you run the risk of getting n ingrown hair, which can be painful and get infected. Other than that, there is no real danger from getting rid of pubic hair. Some guys like to shave/clip the hair on their scrotum for a different feel and experience, but you should be careful with sharp instruments down there!

Dr. Anne

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Dear Dr Anne:

I feel Like I’m ready for sex .. I really want to go at it .. I masturbate A LOT and .. I just think I’m ready.. I don’t know, though. Would it be like throwing my life away?

Dear teen

You may feel physically that you are ready and you may want to have sex BUT you may not be emotionally ready and that is a very important aspect of being sexual with someone else. It is also really difficult to predict how you will feel about yourself and the other person once you have had sex. You may feel great but you may also land up thinking - is this all there is? For most young people, the first partnered sexual experience is a very big disappointment. For guys it is often over almost before you get started (the combination of excitement, mental and physical, usually means that you come within seconds of penetration) and for young women, because of the guy coming quickly, there is usually almost no pleasure at all. I personally don't think that by having sex you are "throwing your life away" but you may be ruining what could be something really memorable later in life by doing it before you are emotionally ready. You need to find someone you really like a lot, someone you can really talk to and share with. You need to be able to approach the experience with good feelings, knowing that it is right for you and for him/her and that you will want to spend time with them afterward. You need to be prepared (condoms) and know how to use them properly. You need to be able to talk to that person about their previous sexual experiences as well as your own. You need to feel confident enough to tell them what kind of touching you find pleasurable and what you don't like (and some adults never manage to do this!).

You can never have that first experience again so make sure that it is really really special.

Dr Anne

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Dear teen

There is a good chance that you are pregnant. Why? Well, you noticed that day that you were ovulating and that egg will take about 5 days to come down your uterine tubes and into your uterus. At any point in that journey, it can meet up with a sperm. Even though your boyfriend did not ejaculate inside you, he may have had some pre-cum while he was inside you and that little drop of fluid can contain sperm and it only takes one! If you are even one day past your due date you should go and see your doctor and have a BLOOD test to find out if you are pregnant. The stress of thinking that maybe you are pregnant can in some cases delay your period but the most likely cause of a late period is pregnancy. So go and get checked as soon as you can and then you can make some decisions. If you are not pregnant - you need to be thinking about reliable birth control (pills and condoms) if your boyfriend is putting his penis inside you!

Dr Anne

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Hi teen

This is a question that many teens are grappling with.

If you are 100% sure that you and she have only been with each other, and she is on the pill and is taking it properly (every day at the same time) then it is probably okay to have sex without a condom.

BUT (and this is a very big but): most STIs do not have any symptoms, especially for guys. So it is possible to have an STI and not know about it.

The other thing is that she should be having a Pap test every year, so when she gets that done, they will also check for STIs. The Pap test looks for signs of abnormal cells on the cervix which may be an early warning sign of cancer (don't panic - every woman should have this test and it actually prevents cancer by finding cells before they become cancer). I think that guys and girls should be equal and if she is getting checked out then so should you! Think about that.....

Dr. Anne

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Dear teen

It may be that she is insecure in your relationship and wants to prove to you how much she likes you or thinks that you will like her more if she is interested in sex all the time.

How much do you two have in common? What are some of the things that you do together? If all you do is hang out at home, she may think that this is all you WANT to do. Try going different places some of the time, hang out with friends, do something together (bowling, movies) that takes you out of the house and allows you to do something else with your hands. But most of all, TALK about it. This is obviously making you uncomfortable and you need to talk these things through.

Dr Anne

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Hello Mr. "I just stuck it in a couple of times"!

So, what is it about guys and just wanting to stick it in and then take it out? This can get you into a whole lot of trouble. Next time you masturbate, I want you to pay attention to what happens - at some point, before you come/ejaculate, you will notice a small amount of fluid at the tip of the penis. This is called pre-cum and it contains sperm--those wriggly things that get girls pregnant. When you stick it in a couple of times, that pre-cum is there, too, and can make your girlfriend pregnant.

You need to use condoms each and every time you even think of putting any part of you inside her, even for a second. The thing about sex is that it feels pretty good and sometimes you cannot control yourself and take it out, or you don't take it out before you come.....

Dr Anne

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Hi teen

Thank you for the great question which many young women may be wondering about.

Yeast infections (sometimes called Candida) are fairly common and typically what the woman experiences is itchiness in the genital area, perhaps some burning when urine passes over that area. The tissue down there looks really red and irritated and you may also have a thick, white discharge (looks like cottage cheese!).

It is not really a sexually transmitted infection; however, it is possible that it can be spread via the penis or fingers. The most common reason for getting a yeast infection is from an imbalance of the normal organisms that live in your vagina. This may happen if you have taken antibiotics and the balance of good and bad germs in your vagina gets messed up. Women who have diabetes tend to get these yeast infections more often.

Since we have been able to buy medications for yeast infections over the counter, we see many women who have what looks like a repeat infection but it may be that you did not treat the first one properly. Or it may be that your original infection was not yeast and so you didn't get the right treatment. I would suggest that you go and see a physician or nurse practitioner as soon as you can get an appointment. They may prescribe stronger medication but will certainly check you out to make sure that you are healthy.

Dr Anne

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