Life is like a bank account: you've only got just so much inherited vitality in the account. Sadly, there's nothing you can deposit into it that will make the account bigger. Life costs, and that means the account shrinks as you make withdrawals from it. The rate of withdrawal is key - stress speeds it up.
Most stress isn't caused by the great tragedies of life. Most comes from the build-up of minor irritants that grind you down over the years of your life.
Stress isn't caused only by things you worry about. It can be caused by many different kinds of things: happy things, sad things, allergies, physical things.
Everybody experiences stress some time or other. It's natural. Waiting in line, missing a bus, or studying for an exam can produce stress. So can sudden life changes, like death, illness, moving, separation. Getting angry or anxious may be a perfectly normal way to deal with stressful situations like these. They help keep our stress levels balanced.
WHAT IS STRESS?
To your body, stress = change. Anything that causes a change in your life causes stress. It doesn't matter if it's a good change or a bad change, they're both stress. Passing your grades. Failing your grades. Breaking your leg. Getting sick. Moving. Learning to drive.
Even worry = stress: worrying about a test, about whether or not someone will like you, about what you're going to say to someone about something - you get the picture.
Anything that causes a change in your daily routine is stressful.
Anything that causes change in your body's health is stressful.
EXAMPLES OF STRESS:
Emotional stress: arguments, disagreements, conflicts cause change in your personal life-and that's stress.
Illness: catching a cold, breaking your arm, getting a skin infection, a sore back: these are all changes in your body condition, and that's stress.
Pushing your body too hard: overdriving yourself is a major source of stress. Sooner or later the energy drain on your system will rob your body of its ability to fix itself. Changes will happen in your body. You'll "hit the wall," or "run out of gas." If you don't do something about it, permanent damage may be done.
Environmental factors: hot or cold climates can be stressful. So can high altitudes. Toxins or poisons are a stress, too. Each of these threatens to cause changes in your body's internal system.
Tobacco use: smoking destroys cells that clean your lungs. It damages arteries in your body. It increases your risk of cancer. Even chewing tobacco or snuff doesn't protect you. These damage arteries and carry the same cancer risk.
Hormonal factors: hormonal changes are severe stressors. As you grow and develop, your body actually CHANGES shape, your sexual organs begin to work, new hormones are released in large quantities.
Allergies: allergic reactions are part of your body's natural defense system. An allergy is a definite stress, and puts large demands on your body's defense system to fight off what it perceives as a dangerous attack by an outside enemy/toxin.
Your body will tell you about your stress level - tight throat, sweaty palms, headache, fatigue, nausea, diarrhea, feeling uneasy. Frequent headaches may mean you're mentally overloaded. Aching shoulders may be telling you that you're carrying too much and should relax. Aching backs may be telling you, "Stand up for yourself." Indigestion may remind you of everything you've had to "stomach" lately. You can also get ulcers, cramps, diarrhea, colitis, high blood pressure, itchy skin rashes, depression, anxiety attacks.
If you're more tired, depressed, frustrated or restless than usual; if your relationships aren't satisfying any more; if your sleep patterns change or your weight goes up or own dramatically-you may be under too much or too little stress.
STRESS CRISIS
Sometimes it seems that the stress is greater than our ability to handle it: we can't express our feelings, or the feelings may be inappropriate. It's at times like these that our ability to keep stress levels balanced is weakened, and we can have what is called a "stress crisis."
REMEMBER: stress isn't always a bad thing. It can be a chance to learn better ways of coping in the future.
COPING STRATEGIES
Here are some ways to cope with the stress you may be experiencing. Remember that it always helps to talk to someone about coping with stress, and to consider consulting your family doctor if the stress is getting too hard to handle.
Do something that isn't work or something that is play-reading, community affairs, sports, hobbies, outdoor activities.
Change your strategy:
- Decide what's worth worrying about and what isn't.
- Accept less than perfection.
- Take a break. Get away from the situation for a while.
- Get some exercise.
- Work harder.
- Talk to your friends about stress.
- Learn to separate school from the rest of your life; keep home and school separate.
- Drop what you're doing and do something completely different.
- Build up your resistance by getting regular sleep and regular exercise.
- Problem-solve.
- Re-label the stress.
Usually, you don't stop to analyze what label to put on something. Your "decision" is probably automatic and can produce stress before you even know what's happened.
But, you can still reduce the stress by taking a second look, by "re-labelling" the stress. Re-labelling is simple, but it isn't easy, because it's tough to look at things from a different perspective.
How to re-label
Re-trace your steps until you find the event that you interpreted as threatening.
Identify the meaning that you attached to this event.
If you don't like the way you feel, you can consciously change your mind and choose a different, more positive interpretation to the event.
When re-labelling shouldn't be done
You can't and shouldn't re-label all stressful situations. Some situations are truly threatening and deserve high-energy stress responses. You'll have to decide. If you have any doubts, talk to someone or consult your family doctor.
STRESS SCALE
Here's a way to identify your stress levels. Each item represents a change in your life. Focus on the last 12 months. Then total your score to see how stressed you are.
Directions: Write the value corresponding to the stress topic of your choice. When completed add the numbers to determine your stress levels.
STRESS SCALE FOR YOUTH
| Stress | Value |
| Death of spouse, parent, boy/girlfriend | 100 |
| Divorce (of yourself or your parents) | 65 |
| Puberty | 65 |
| Pregnancy (or causing pregnancy) | 65 |
| Marital separation, or break-up with boy/girlfriend | 60 |
| Jail term or probation | 60 |
| Death or other family member (other than spouse, parent, or boy/girlfriend) | 60 |
| Broken engagement | 55 |
| Engagement | 50 |
| Serious personal injury or illness | 45 |
| Marriage | 45 |
| Entering college or starting next level of school (starting junior high or high school) | 45 |
| Change in independence or responsibility | 45 |
| Any drug and/or alcohol use | 45 |
| Fired from work or expelled from school | 45 |
| Change in alcohol or drug use | 45 |
| Reconciliation with mate, family or boy/girlfriend (getting back together) | 40 |
| Trouble at school | 40 |
| Serious health problem of a family member | 40 |
| Working while attending school | 35 |
| Changing course of study | 35 |
| Change in frequency of dating | 35 |
| Sexual adjustment problems (confusion of sexual identity) | 35 |
| Gain of new family member (new baby born, parent remarries) | 35 |
| Change in work responsibilities | 35 |
| Change in financial state | 30 |
| Death of a close friend (not a family member) | 30 |
| Change to a different kind of work | 30 |
| Change in number of arguments with mate, family, or friends | 30 |
| Sleep less than 8 hours a night | 25 |
| Trouble with in-laws, or boy/girlfriend's family | 25 |
| Outstanding personal achievement (awards, grades, etc) | 25 |
| Mate or parents start or stop working | 20 |
| Begin or end school | 20 |
| Change in living conditions (visitors in the home, remodeling house, change in roommates) | 20 |
| Change in personal habits (start/stop a habit like smoking or dieting) | 20 |
| Chronic allergies | 20 |
| Trouble with the boss/teacher | 20 |
| Change in work hours | 15 |
| Change in residence | 15 |
| Change to a new school (other than due to graduation) | 15 |
| Presently in pre-menstrual period | 15 |
| Change in religious activity | 15 |
| Going into debt (you or your family) | 10 |
| Change in frequency of family gatherings | 10 |
| Vacation | 10 |
| Presently in winter holiday season | 10 |
| Minor violation of the law | 5 |
(Remember: Mark off only those things that changed in your life during the past year.)
Each of these things has a ripple effect in your life, and can last for long periods of time. So, if your total is 250 or more, you may be OVERSTRESSED. If you tend to have a low stress tolerance, your overstress level could be as low as 150.
OVERSTRESS can make you sick. It's like running your car engine over the red line. Sooner or later something will break. What breaks depends on where the weak links are in your physical body.
Your body will tell you about your stress level: tight throat, sweaty palms, headache, fatigue, nausea, diarrhea, feeling uneasy. Frequent headaches may mean you're mentally overloaded. Aching shoulder may be telling you that you're carrying too much and should relax. Aching backs may be telling you, "Stand up for yourself." Indigestion may remind you of everything you've had to "stomach" lately. You can also get ulcers, cramps, diarrhea, colitis, high blood pressure, itchy skin rashes, depression, anxiety attacks.
If you're more tired, depressed, frustrated or restless than usual; if your relationships aren't satisfying any more; if your sleep patterns change or your weight goes up or down dramatically, you may be under too much or too little stress.
TOP 10 SOURCES OF STRESS FOR KIDS
- Parent having problems.
- Fight with a friend or a sibling.
- Taking a test.
- Wondering if someone thinks you're attractive.
- Not having enough privacy.
- Birth of a brother or sister.
- Moving to a new school.
- Re/marriage of a parent.
- Not having enough money.
- A teacher who doesn't like you.
STRESS-REDUCING THOUGHTS
Emotional stress doesn't exist externally; it lives in me and how I react to situations-which is something that I can learn to control .
- I will do one thing at a time.
- I will do the best I can about a situation, and then I won't worry about it.
- I will express my feelings honestly to other people.
- I will think and live positively, and be the best that I can be.
- I will learn and grow from my experiences, even the bad ones.
- I will treat everyone, including children, with the kind of respect that I want for myself.
- I will accept the world as it is.
- I will realize that there are always options.
- I will live in the "now", not in the past, and not in the future.
